(I Don’t Know Why) But I Do
While shopping for, let’s say, groceries, the total of the purchase often amounts to, for example, $17.68, or $19.84. I generally nod knowingly and tell the cashier, “That was a very good year.” The reaction, 85% of the time, is a sneer; the other 15%, a look of confusion.
That’s sick. It’s like, what’s your beef? I’m hilarious, man.
April 20th, 2007 at 2:54 pm
If only you could live in a Whit Stillman movie.
April 21st, 2007 at 4:23 pm
Right on.
April 25th, 2007 at 10:04 am
That’s hysterical.
When I’m at a restuarant, and the server wants to clear some plates and asks, “Finished?” I like to respond, “No, Swedish.”
They almost never find it amusing.
April 25th, 2007 at 10:12 am
That’s brilliant!!! Do you have any more?
April 25th, 2007 at 9:45 pm
Ummmm… I *used* to, when presented with the check, hold it upside down and say, “Something is wrong – it was printed upside down.”
I retired that one, though – never got a laugh. Even after I explained it.
Someone else would say, when presented with the check, “No thanks, I’m not staying for the drawing.”
I don’t think that’s gonna draw a lot of laughs, either.
April 26th, 2007 at 11:36 am
Out of the two, I like the upside-down check better, although I give you props for both. I can’t believe the former doesn’t get laughs?
Sometimes when a friend offers me a cookie, sandwich, soda, etc., I decline, telling them, “No thanks, I’m driving.” Considering it’s such a ridiculous thing to say, it’s actually garnered quite a few laughs. Pity laughs, of course. Sniff.
April 26th, 2007 at 3:33 pm
But I prefer the driving one over “I’m trying to cut back.” Lots of people use that one.
Yes, I thought the upside down check was pretty funny, too. In fact, it was some of my best first date material. Or so I thought. There may be a correlation between the use of that joke and the scarcity of second dates.
The ratio of first to second dates has not improved any since retiring it, so I might revive it.
May 1st, 2007 at 2:12 pm
When asked to endorse a check, I used to say “This is a great check! I highly recommend it.”
Never got a laugh. Not once.
May 1st, 2007 at 2:50 pm
LOL! You get my vote. I might have to incorporate that one into my repertoire…